Previous Smiles 1

A mother was preparing pancakes for her two sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan, 3.

The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw it as an opportunity for a moral lesson.

"If  Jesus were sitting here, He would say, let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait."

Kevin turned to his brother and said, " Ryan, you be Jesus"

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After the church service, a little boy went up to the minister and said," When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money."

"Well, thank you," the minister replied, "but why?"

"Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."

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A mother was teaching her three year old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the mother.

Then one night the child was ready to go solo. The mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right to the end.

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail"....

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A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them.

Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely.

It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.

"Mum, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there ?" his mother asked.

With astonishment in his voice, the boy replied "I think it's Adam's suit!"

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Below are a selection of Church Notices which have been read to congregations over the years, or at least I am told they have!

Recognise any?

Miss Jones sang "I Will Not Pass This Way Again", giving obvious pleasure to the audience.

Ladies, don't forget the jumble sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

Barbara remains in hospital and needs more transfusions. She is having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Rev. John's sermons.

During the absence of our minister, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J E Stubbs occupied the pulpit.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Please place your donations in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The Church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper - Sunday at 7.30 pm. Prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the schoolroom on Friday afternoon.

Eight new choir robes are needed, due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones.